Axel, what's a Ruroni?
by The Layman
Summary: When Roxas and Xion find an anime in Axel's room about a wandering Samurai with a cross shaped scar, Axel agrees to let them watch it with his supervision. Oh, and Saïx joins them for a bit as well. Giftfic for Raberba girl.


_Merry Christmas! NaNoWriMo is all over for the year (I didn't make the goal, but I managed 37,578 words, which is a marked improvement over last year!), and I'm itching to get back to all those project I left hanging! ...Which is why I started writing in a fandom that I've never had any aptitude for before...Yeah..._

_Anyway, a lovely and talented __Raberba girl__ wrote me a _monster_ of a fic (15,000 word one-shot) as a thank you me supporting her since December '09. So, as a thank you for that (and because Christmas, why not?) I decided to write her one. This turned out to be the result. _

_R-girl, I know you aren't the biggest fan of Kaoru in fanficiton, but for the purposes of this fic, mentioning her was kinda unavoidable. (You'll see why.) I tried not to mention her too much though, for what it's worth. ...Don't hate me?_

_But enough rambling, let's just get to the story! Hopefully I got everyone's character relatively accurate._

__/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

"Axel, what's a 'ruh-ro-nee'?"

Once Axel was done choking on his soda, he turned to originator of said question. Which in this case was the young Number XIII, who some knew as Roxas (Cute Thing #1). He was accompanied, like he often was, by Number XIV, also known as Xion (Cute Thing The Second). Cute Thing The Second was holding something behind her back and was fidgeting nervously. (Well...a _tiny_ bit, which for her was progress.)

"If you're talking about what I think you are," Number VIII said, wiping the excess liquid from his mouth, "then it's pronounced 'ruroni'. I think it means something like 'wandering samurai' or something like that. Why?" He raised his eyebrow, "This wouldn't have anything to do with what Xion's holding behind her back, would it?"

Xion blushed, looking quite sheepish.

"Kinda..." Roxas said, looking equally sheepish and rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "We...sort of went through went through your stuff."

Axel had been taking a bite of his graham cracker when Roxas said that, and so the second round of choking began.

"We know you told us not to," Xion said quickly before Axel could recover enough to scold them, "but you weren't waiting for us a the Clocktower like you usually do and we RTC'd from our last mission early, so we though you might be in your room, so we went there, but you weren't in your room, so we thought you might be hiding, and then we thought you might have gotten lost in all your stuff because your room is always such a pig stye-"

Axel's eyebrow twitched.

"-but we made sure to stay out of the boxes that you told us we'd understand once we were older-"

He let out a mental sigh of relief.

"-and we found these in your DVD collection." She held her hands out in front of her, revealing their contents; three DVD box sets, each with the picture of a man with long red hair and a pair of crisscrossing scars on his left cheek, and various other characters accompanying him.

"Flaming pants, I forgot I even had those things; where'd you find them anyway?" he asked, looking the DVD's over.

"They were in a box with a bunch of other cartoons that kinda looked like this one," Roxas explained, "...you're not mad at us?" As if by reflex they both dived into their patented "cute puppy dog eyes" routine.

"..._Noooo,_" Axel strained, "I'm not mad at you two. If anything, I'm amazed you guys were actually able to dig these up!" Then something Cute Thing #1 said clicked in his mind, "And it's _anime,_ not 'cartoons'. Got it _memorized_?"

"You mean like those shows Marluxia likes?" Xion wondered.

"No!" Axel said quickly, "Well, they're kinda the same in that they're all from Japan...but mine are better!" Then he got an idea, "You guys wanna watch this?"

"Really?" they both squealed, threatening to overload Axel's Cuteness levels, looking up at him pleadingly.

"Sure! I might need to creatively skip past a few parts, but I think you guys can handle it."

As he led them back to his room to view the 'not cartoons', Roxas asked "What world is Japan?"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"So what did you guys think?" Axel asked after they'd finished watching the first episode.

"Kenshin was awesome!" Roxas cheered, jumping to his feat and materializing his Keyblade, rather clumsily imitating Kenshin's sword moves. "He was all like, bam bam bam! And then he was like whoosh!-" He spun around in a circle, nearly klonking both Avel and Xion in the head with his weapon. "-for like, _five guys_! And the he was all hyaah!" He jumped of Axel's bed, crushing an empty soda can.

"Kenshin was pretty cool," Xion agreed, dodging Roxas's enthusiastic swings, "but I like Kaoru better."

"Really, why's that?" Axel wondered [quickly doing some dodging of his own].

"Well, I can really relate to her," she said, "she's a girl surrounded by a lot of boys who don't take her that seriously, she's a good fighter, she's really bad at cooking..."

Axel was starting to get the picture.

"Can we watch another one?" Roxas begged, vanishing his Keyblade, "Pleas please please? It's really cool!" He augmented this with the Puppy Eyes.

Xion joined in.

"..._One more_," he said, "and that's it."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_So after they watched Episode 2..._

"I think Yahiko's my favorite character," Roxas stated.

"But didn't you say you liked Kenshin before?" Axel wondered; he distinctly remembered the young Number XIII singing the tiny wandering samurai's praises not twenty minutes ago.

"I know," he said, "I just think Yahiko's cooler."

"Luxord would probably like this episode," Xion said, thinking of the Gambler of Fate.

"Maybe, but I don't think he's really that into Anime much," Axel said.

"Didn't you Marluxia like anime too?" Roxas asked.

"Yeah, but you guys probably wouldn't enjoy his kind of anime," said the Fury of Dancing Flames dismissively, "Too much kissing."

The two Keybladers made gagging sounds.

_Works every time!_ Axel thought to himself.

"Can we watch another one?" they asked once they stopped their prepubescent theatrics.

"No, I said only one more episode, and I meant it; there's nothing you guys can say to make me change my mind!"

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_One losing battle later, after Episode 5..._

"One of these days I'm gonna have to learn how to say no to you guys," Axel grumbled as the ending song started to play.

"Sanosuke is the best character ever!" Roxas proclaimed, swinging around a giant inflatable Buster Sword (that Axel somehow discovered after flopping dramatically on his bed after succumbing to the Cute Puppy Eyes for the umpteenth time that week) in imitation of the character on the show. "Oryaaaah!"

"Careful!" pleaded Xion, "You might hit Bomb!"

Axel's pet kitten had wandered into the room some time during Episode 4, and had made itself comfortable in Xion's lap. (She was delighted to have the little ball of fluff to play with while they watched.)

"OK, first of all," Axel said as he grabbed the tip of the novelty inflatable, "stop swinging this thing around so much; you're gonna mess my room up even more than it already is, and I like my mess at a certain level. Second, whatever happened to Yahiko being the best?"

"Yeah, you can't have three favorite characters!" Xion berated.

"I could if I wanted to!" Roxas protested, "Besides, I didn't say Sanosuke was my favorite, just that he was the best."

"What makes him the best?" Xion wondered, legitimately curious.

"Well, he's a strong fighter, he's loyal to his friends, and he's got spiky hair." He pointed to Axel, who was in the middle of chugging down one of his energy drinks ("Not until you guys are older! If I wanted a couple of tiny, hyperactive cute things bouncing around the Castle, I'd bring back Chip and Dale."), "Kinda like Axel."

Axel almost choked again, but somehow managed not to. "Thanks a lot, Rocks-my-socks, that's really-"

"Yeah!" Xion burst out in agreement, "And cause he's lazy too!"

Axel's head drooped.

"You guys are lucky you're cute..." Then he got up and began ushering the two tiny Keybladers out the door, "You're also lucky you got to stay up so late, now get to bed."

"But we wanna watch more!" Roxas whined.

"Yeah," Xion concurred, "it's a really good show, and I want to see who they're going to meet next!"

"Alright, alright," Axel said before they could pull any of their dirty witchcraft on him, "Tell you what, how about we skip the Clocktower tomorrow and watch more RuroKen instead, huh?"

"You mean it?" they both said, faces elated with joy.

"Sure! You guys pick up some Ice-Cream in Twilight Town before you RTC after your next mission, while I move my TV somewhere we wont be interrupted." He scratched his chin for a moment, then snapped his fingers, "I know! We can use that spare room Xion used for her crazy vacation planning!"

Xion suddenly became gloomy.

"_Wrong..."_ she mumbled to no one in particular, _"You're all wrong..."_

Axel smacked his head, _Forgot about that..._ "Roxas, would you kindly escort Xion to her room?"

"Uh, sure."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

After Xion was distracted from any thoughts of "vacation", and after all of them took care of their respective jobs after their Missions they all sat down and continued watching the Misadventures of Kenshin Himura and Co.

_After Episode 8..._

"Megumi's pretty funny," Roxas chuckled.

"I think she's kinda mean," Xion countered, lightly smacking Roxas on his chest, "Just because Kaoru isn't any good at cooking..."

"If it makes you feel any better," Axel sighed, "Kaoru and Megumi eventually become friends later on. And by the way, you're not _terrible _at cooking, you just need a bit more practice to get the basics down."

"Mm-hmm," she nodded.

"Come on Axel, play the next episode!" Roxas demanded, "I wanna see what happens to Yahiko!"

"Cool your jets, dude, just let me find the dang remote..." _Seriously, how do I keep losing that thing?_

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

So the next few days the three friends all gathered together and watched a few episodes of the new [relatively] anime, sometimes getting into small arguments about each of their preferred favorite.

A week later they'd reached the end for the first season, and were about to start the second, when...

"You missed yesterday's Meeting," Saïx stated, standing imposingly in the doorway. Axel just stared at him blankly the two young Nobodies not so subtly trying to hide behind their "Mommy".

"S'up Sai," Axel said nonchalantly. "Was there a Meeting yesterday? I thought you said the next one wasn't until next month."

"That would be correct if it were _last_ month when I told you that," the Luna Diviner said. His eyes scrunched up as he asked "What is your excuse for laziness this time?"

"Chill out, OK dude?" He put his hands in front of him defensively, "I was teaching these two about quality anime before they could be corrupted by the likes of Marulxia's reverse harem shows or Demyx's...whatever that is he watches."

"With 'Meiji Swordsman Romantic Story'?" he asked dubiously, gesturing to the TV screen, which was cycling through the title menu animations.

"...I let the students pick the curriculum?" Axel tried lamely, shrugging. "What can I say, they seem to like it. Beside, at least it's the good dub instead of the bad one."

"That still doesn't excuse your tardiness. Your punishment will be a solo mission for each of you, Heart Collection for Numbers XIII and XIV, and Number VIII will dealing with some _particularly_ nasty fire elementals in the Colosseum Underworld. And furthermore-"

"Would you like to watch it with us?" Xion asked meekly, peeking out from behind Axel's coat.

Saïx looked down at her blankly. "...What?"

"We don't mind," she continued, "there's plenty of room here, you could have my seat of you want!"

"Your attempts to curry my favor will not-"

"Actually, you should join us!" Axel suddenly blurted out, snapping his fingers. "It's be like old times back in Radiant Garden! Remember, when we use to sit around at my house watching Anime?"

"If I remember correctly, these viewings always happened at _my_ house because you always insisted my television set was better," Saïx corrected the fiery-headed Nobody. "But nostalgia is an even less effective motivator than what Number XIV attempted."

"Well then how about extortion?" Axel leaned in close to Saïx's ear and whispered, with an evil grin on his face, "I have in my possession several photos of you showing moderate emotion for Chi. Now, if you and your little dog don't want these photos being circulated to the rest of the Org, well... all it'll cost you is an hour and twenty minutes hanging out with us. So?"

"...what part is the show are you at?"

"Good choice, my friend! Have a seat while I set everything up! Heh heh, always knew I kept those photos around for a reason!"

While Saïx was busy being menacing, Roxas was staring at his scar, and as Saïx reluctantly settled into his seat (Xion had grabbed a folding chair from the corner of the room for him) he became aware of this fact.

"Can I help you with something, Number XIII?" he asked.

"Your scar's all wrong," Roxas stated. "If you wanted to be like Kenshin you should have put it on your cheek." Roxas pointed to his left cheek.

"I did not get this scar intentionally," he explained to the younger Nobody. "It was...let's just say it wasn't because of any affection I have towards Kenshin Himura."

"You're lucky Sai," Axel called from the DVD player, "we were just about to start the best part of both the anime and the manga; the Kyoto Arc! No more filler until Season 3!"

"What's a manga?" Roxas and Xion asked in unison just as Axel hit "Play".

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"Now I remember why I liked this show," Saïx said as Episode 30 came to a close, "I always did admire Saito's no nonsense sensibilities."

"But he's a jerk!" Roxas protested.

"Yeah!" Xion agreed, "He's a stupid jerk!"

"I'm gonna have to go with the kids on this one, Sai; Saito's kinda of a douche. (Pardon my French.)"

"He uses the most efficient methods to get the desired results," Saïx explained, "I see nothing wrong with that."

"He beat up Sano, stabbed him through the shoulder, fought Kenshin and almost turned him back into a Manslayer, messing up the Kamiya dojo in the process, and he didn't even apologize for it!" Xion listed off vehemently. "He's nothing but a big, fat, jerk!"

"And he's real mean, too!" Roxas added helpfully. (_"__I think that's the same thing, buddy,"_ Axel whispered.)

"It's like you don't even have a heart anymore!" she continued.

...It took her a second (plus to blank stares and one _very_ glare) to actually realize what she said.

"Oh..." was she could manage.

"If it will ease your conscience," Saïx said eventually, "I do not approve of his extremity; it is only his efficiency I admire, not what he uses it for."

"That better, Xi?" Axel asked. Xion nodded her head. "Good. Now that we have that settled, time for the next episode!"

"Unless the next episode is no longer than five minutes, I have other duties to attend to." Saïx rose from his [meager] seat and headed out the door, pausing in the threshold. "...if everyone else RTC's in a timely manner tomorrow- And I mean all of them, not just your three- I may join you again."

"Yay!" the Kaybladers cheered, dancing around in joy.

"It is as you said," Axel heard his stoic BFF say as he tried to get his Cute Things to calm down, "the Kyoto Arc is the best part of either the anime or the manga."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Eight days passed, and so our valiant heroes (plus Saïx, though he wouldn't admit it) reached episode 52.

"Aww!" Roxas moaned, "They were just about to fight Shishio! I wanted to see that!"

"They'll get back to it soon" Axel assured him, "I think it's only this and the next episode break from Shishio's fortress so we can see the rest of Kenshin's friends."

"Don't you remember, Roxas?" Xion said, "Shishio sent his goons to attack the Aoi-Ya while Kenshin, Sano, and Jerkface were attacking him!"

Xion had taken to affectionately calling Saito "Jerkface".

"Were you not paying attention?" Saïx asked.

"I was!" he protested indignantly, "I just think Kenshin fighting Shishio would be cooler."

"Suit yourself," Axel shrugged, leaning back in his seat (a red and orange beanbag chair), folding his arms behind his head, "I guess you'll just miss out on one of the best Yahiko moments in the whole show..."

"Really?" This got Roxas' attention. "What does he do?"

"Oh nothing much, he only singlehandedly takes down one of the Juppongatana and then stares down a _giant_."

Roxas happily bounced in his seat, awaiting his "favorite" character's crowning moment.

"Do the girls get any awesome moments?" Xion asked eagerly, her eyes sparkling.

"Yup! Kaoru and Misao put the beatdown on the freak with the big scythe."

_So that scene comes around, and..._

"Poor Misao..." Xion cooed. "I feel so sorry for her. ...why do I suddenly feel like washing my eyes out with Lethe water?"

Axel smacked his forehead, Roxas whistled conspicuously, and Saïx said nothing, content to watch the episode and not drudge up unpleasant memories.

"...What?"

"Kamatari kinda reminds me of Marluxia," Roxas blurted out reflexively (and involuntarily).

"I can't disagree with that," Axel said, happy to be distracted from talking about that fateful night. "I foresee many interesting nicknames for that boy in the near future."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_Come Episode 62..._

"And that's the Kyoto Arc!" Axel announced as the season finale credits played, "What'd you guys thing?"

"I've already seen it before," Saïx told him, "you know my thoughts."

"I thought it was awesome!" Roxas said, "It's the best anime I've ever seen!"

"Unless you've been going through my stash without me knowing, I think this is the _only_ anime you've ever seen," Axel sagely pointed out.

"But it's still the best!" the young Keyblader insisted.

"Well, no accounting for quantity. So what about you Xi, what'd you think of it?"

"I liked it too," she said, less exuberant than her counterpart but no less genuine, "It was cool, and funny, and I really want to know whose grave that was."

"Yeah, me too!" Roxas added.

"Well, tough Paopu fruits, Kids, they never bring that up again in the rest of the show." Axel got up and ejected the disk from the player, "The whole rest of the anime from here on out is filler."

"B-b-but I wanted to know who his dead friend is..." Xion whimpered.

"And I wanted to see some more cool fights," Roxas pouted.

A credit to his willpower, Axel was actually able resist the unholy magics of Roxas and Xion about to break into tears. ...for about ten seconds. Knowing this was a losing battle, he turned to Saïx for strength.

"You started this," was his helpful advice.

"Some from friend you are..." Axel grumbled before turning back to Cute Thing #1 and Cute Thing The Second, "You know...I _could_ lend you guys the part of the manga that they didn't put in the anime; it's got a bunch of cool fight scenes, and you'll learn more about the woman whose grave Kenshin was praying at."

"Really?!" Roxas' face lit up.

"It's a _woman_?!" Xion beamed.

Then they both glomped him.

"Yeah yeah, I awesome," Axel conceded, patting both Keybladers on their back. "Two conditions though; you both share, and I expect each volume to be in the exact same condition as when I give them to you when you return them. OK?"

"OK!" they chirped.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

"You're not going to show them the rest of the series?" Saïx asked as the young Nobodies ran off to read Ruroni Kenshin manga.

"Nope! None of it's canon to the manga, so they don't need to both any of that tripe." The Dancing Flame crossed his arms behind his head, "Eh, I might show it to them if they really wanna set it..."

"You are too sentimental with the two of them," Saïx pointed out. "One day that sentimentality is going to be your downfall."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm sure you'll outlive the rest of us," Axel retorted, waving dismissively. "Anywho, I've got things that need doing. See ye later!"

"Thank you for the photos, by the way," Saïx said as Axel walked off.

"...but I never gave you any-"

And then Axel's brain caught up to reality, and he hurriedly rifled through his pockets.

"Looking for these?" Saïx held the [semi-]incriminating photos for Axel to see. "They are going directly into the trash."

Axel just stared, flabbergasted. "But how did...?"

"While you were engrossed in the finale," he answered the unfinished question, "it is astounding how focused you can get when it _isn't_ on anything official." After he let Axel sulk for a moment, he asked "What about the movies, are you going to show them to Numbers XIII and XIV?"

"...You're kidding, right?" Axel held up his hand and began counting off, "The 'official' movie is general a piece of crap, Reflection has a terrible dub and is one of the most depressing things in existence, and Trust & Betrayal is _waaaaaaay_ too adult for them. Nuh uh, no way! Besides, the Jin-chu Arc does a better job of telling the story in Reflection and T&B anyway, and if I remember right I think my copies have an extra story about Yahiko that I know Roxas will like."

"Speaking of Number XIII," Saïx said, pointing behind the flaming haired Nobody. Axel turned and saw Xion and Roxas running back, not noticing Saïx quickly Dark Corridor away with the photos.

"You guys need something?" he asked once the Cute Things stopped to catch their breath.

"Where do you keep your manga?" Roxas asked.

"We wanted to ask you this time before searching your room," added Xion.

"Good call," Axel said, taking them both by the hand, "Let's go look together, shall we?"

_fin._

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_There you have it, my first attempt at writing Kingdom Hearts! To those who are more familiar with the KH fandom than I, don't be offended if I didn't get everything right; like I said, first time writing it. _

_To Raberba Girl; Again, I know you kind of had a little falling out with Kaoru outside of the manga, but giving what I decided to go with, I kinda had to at least mention her. Besides, she and Xion share a few similarities with each other, no? (Such as the quality of their cuisine preparation, for instance.) Hope you like my take on your OT4 [platonic], and thanks again for the monster giftfic and the years of friendship!_

_Well, as you can see, I've managed to leave it open for a short sequel or two, so if anyone still wants to see these four reacting to more Ruroni Kenshin, say the word and I'll see what I can do! Granted they would only focus on the third season of the anime and the third arc of the manga respectively, (seeing as how two particular Nobodies aren't old enough for the OVAs), but it might still be fun none the less. _


End file.
